Something in My heart "

a s s a l a m u a l a i k u m "

hey mates ^^ "

right now , i'm telling u guys something in my heart "

first of all " family "

while i'm at Uitm , i always worried about my family ,

back then , when i'm still at home ..

everything is on me , and i wanted to decrease my mothers stress ,

i tried to do everything to help my parent's

because i understand that my parent's work 
so hard to make sure we can live a better life,

i can see how tired my parent's are .

seeing their tired face always makes me wanna cry ...

even though i hurt so much and a lot when my parent's scold , 
angry and misunderstood me"

i still love them , and never had enough stayed at home , 
even though i stressed so much and hurt so much "

But i don't care , i LOVE them more ...

i always scold my sister harshly , its not that i hated them ,
 its just that i don't want my sister to be a spoil brat ,

i want to teach them to do what's right , and stop being a baby !!!!

man .. i still remember , if its me everythings got a rule , 
even when eating time ,

qila : close your mouth when u eat !!!

        put your left hand down from the table !!!!

        don't talk while your eathing !!!

        sit properly !!!! 

        i only say once , and i want you to listen "

        if i ever hears any sound from 
your mouth while bathing , you will regret it !!!

lol , don't i sound like a grandma right , 
that's what my parents always said .. ^^ "

To my younger brother ,

i always angry him ^^ "

qila : 
adib !!!!! when i ask you to do something , please do it now !!!!!!`

          don't you dare talk back to your sister !!!!!!

          I'm your sister , and you should respect me !!!!!!

          Adib !!! stop day dreaming and start doing it !!!!

          you better study and stop thinking about love !!!!!

          huh !!! immature !!!!!

          why don't you grow up and be positive !!!!

          please help me with this , i only ask to do this , 
its not like i ask you to the other chores !!!!!

          Go to bath you stinking punk !!!

ut even though i angry a lot , i still love them the most ,

my brother also cared about me a lot too ^^ "

To my sister effa .

i always had a quarrel with her too .

qila : 
effa !!! do it now or umi's goin to be angry !!!

         Just say it if you to lazy to do it !!!!

        once you use my stuff , 
put it back where it belong , you always forgot !!!

she cried sometimes if i scold her lol , 
but she makes me cry much more than i make her cry ^^ "

sometimes when i need help , 
and she makes that disgusted face telling that NO WAY "

i would say , " a ah never mine , 
i will do it my self , 
( my hearts broken actually ) kinda a bit disappointed , 

and when that's happens ,
 i stop talking to her for a few minutes , and i know she felt sorry ^^ "

To my biggie sister ika "

lol , to me she sometimes had the part
 when she was mature and sometimes not -_- "

i had a quarrel a lot too with her ...

words that i still remember that i purposeful 
came out of my mouth and kinda hurt her a bit ..

qila : 

"you have no right to be my sister !!! "

    "  if this is how you act , you have no right to be my sister !!! "

but no matter what stuff came out from my mouth , i still love her "

I LOVE MY FAMILY

Allah please let them be healthy , safe and happy

--------------------------------

second was my friend ,

To NORA & DYAN "

i always felt sorry for not messaging or calling u guys ,

i'm totally broke , no money at all , 
i don't even have enough money to eat ,

until me and my roommates
 made a timetable when we can eat rice , and all .

i was so busy here , 
every week we have our AD's( arts & design ) project ,

its important , because we don't have finals exam for this subject , 
we must done this project within a week .

we have to do it the best from the best every week ,
cause our finals is based on our project every week .

also every materials that we need to use for the project , 
we have to buy it our-self ,

such as , paint , wire , brush , cardboard , printing , binding , pliers and all ,

i don't even receive PTPTN yet , sometimes i cried , 
worried that i don't have enough money or savings .

what should i do ,

there is so much thing i wanted to tell you guys , 
but right now its not the right time ,

I have a lot of assignment , presentation , test , homework and all ,

i hope u guys understand , 
i know you might think that i have forgotten , 

but NO ! , 
i never forget any friend that I've known since preschool  , 

i don't know if they remembered me or not anymore .

so i really hope you guys will understand ,
 that's what friendships are , friends understand each other .

and soon you guys will continued study like me 
and you will experience the same ways as what I am now .. 

all i can say is , don't worry at that time , 
you have to focus on your studies , friends can wait , 

but your ambition is not waiting for you ,

when the days we success our dream , 
our friendships is always there .

Just like my parent's they still friends with 
their elementary school friends too "

that's the way life's are , it is cruel but we have to move on ...

and we should know that , this is how Allah tested us "

i want you guys to know that ,
 i's thankful to meet people like u guys ,

even though sometimes you guys hurt me ,
 but i still love u guys a lot and hate to >,< "

--------------------------------

Lastly ,

actually , here at UITM , i hurt a lot too ,

i'm still single , lol , i guess that's fine , 
and my mom wound't angry me for having lover ^^ "

i guess i understand why guys
 don't have any interest on me .. 
guys these days like girls which is ,

sexy , free hair , slim slender , and flirty ,

i'm not their taste i guess , cause i wore hand socks , 
stocking , muslimah t.shirts , always wearing hijab  

and large blouse that is , look like a pregnant blouse .
 i'm to shy to talk and i can't stand when they talk

and their eyes were straight to my eyes ,

i don't care anyway , if someone loves us ,
 their don't judge by the outer side , 

but they judge by the inner side of us , 
and loves us as we are , right ..

oh well , one of my friends said , 
nobody want you because you are ( Budak Sabah ) ,

i was like -_-" what .... 

fine than , i hate all guys who likes pretty girls !!!!

 take that losers ....

_____________

My beloved pets ,

they can't stay longer with us anymore T.T " 

my sister's sick because of the kitten's ,

it is dangerous for their life .

when have to send our pets somewhere else ,

i cried a lot thinking about it ,

cause chi-chi and kee-chul were always comfort me when i'm sad ,

i took care of them since their were small , and now they have to go ,

i kept thinking , since they are used to have owner , 
whats gonna happen to them .

and kee-chul and chi-chi have to separate , 

both of its loves each other ,

i still remember whenever kee-chul were apart from chi-chi ,

chi-chi will cried meow meow , searching for kee-chul .

and kee-chul likes to self with chi-chi ,

i just can't imagine whats going to happen 
to chi-chi when there's no kee-chul by its side,

and what's happen to kee-chul when chi-chi its not there ,

their might be a bit confused and searching for each other .

i's so sad thinking about this , i can't stop my tears ,
 i can't stand watching all the abandoned animals 

especially cats ... T.T " 

waaaa...............

Ya Allah , hope they will live healthy and safe : ( "

that's all for now , update soon tata " ~