A s s a l a m u a l a i k u m "
on 16 October "
i was left with a broken heart ..
i force my self to sleep to forget...
i'm sleeping with tears at that time..
it was really sad to me...
i was waiting and happy and exiting..
i thought i can finally have a conversation with the one i <3
finally, mommy gets to sleep this time...
it was hard to wait for her...
i started to call with a happy heart..
but....
when i called , the person answer in a very unpleasant way ..
first question , the person ask...
when are u going to sleep...
when i heard that question , my heart feels sad..
then the person said , i was kidding...
i have a feeling , that person does not want to talk to me...
tears start falling...
then the person told me,
i'm going out...
tears start falling again , and more and more...
i knew it, i just knew.. i don't want to believe it..
my heart hurts..
he told me that tonight he wanted to give me a lullaby .
i guess he forgot,
about me , always forgot..
the reason i do not want to give you a call is because...
every time i called you ,
all i get is..
disappointment , sad , heart broken and tears will fall...
that's why i only wait for a call from,
then i know if you called,
you do really need me..
but when i called , always at the wrong moment..
it was the moment you don't even wanted me around..
am i right...
can you tell me , it is the truth right ?
please say no : < ....
i'm sorry , i understand, u have your own life..
i do , do really love you...
maybe i miss you so much ...
its not easy to hear your voice or
feeling like i was loved by u recently ..
when there's a chance ...
i'll grab it... i'll try too..
but, when i finally could give you a call.
but.. you were not there for me..
maybe you do not know how i felt,
how much i miss you ...
that is why i felt so sad ...
it was so hard to awake , to make sure...
but when i finally could talk to you...
you just can't..
maybe its not the time..
all i can do is understand ...
i do not want you to worried ...
i try to calm my self...
i realize when i started crying and sad..
i forgot about your feeling...
i'm sorry , maybe i just have to be patient ...
maybe i loved you to much...
and miss you a lot ...
but it is not a good thing if you did't feel the same way
as what i felt to you ...
I've decided to not hoping anymore...
i'm sorry ,
it's just that, i love you ...
when you hung up the phone..
i was crying badly and force my self to sleep..
i thought i can forget about it..
in the morning, i woke up..
every time i remember about that night..
tears start falling again ...
it was a big scar...
when you left me with a broken heart .....
i understand that you did not do it on purpose
but i can't help it , it was really disappointing..
i pray for you and your family the best ..
( oh Allah please bless our relationship )
" HONEY ' you are the best thing that ever been in my life "
i hope u know that
by : q i l a d i
